My First Post

-->

The Internet is the crack cocaine of white teenagers. You get your first taste in high school and then you're hooked for life. It's like, I use to come home after school, do my homework, play outside, hang with friends, read books. Now I wake up, check my email, watch a few YouTube videos, then glance at the cloack and realize that its 2 A.M. the next day, I'm drunk, and I'm watching clown on midget porn. What the fuck? What am I doing with my life? Its always the weirdest shit that makes you realize you've been on the Internet too long. And it's not like I'm looking for this stuff.

Clown porn must be the next next big thing in America because I keep running into that shit all over the place. A few months ago I was on vice.com reading articles about John McAfee's escapade and it was really interesting. Renegade computer mogul on the run for his life, spying on the Belize government, fighting for extradition to the United States. Compelling story, I was hooked. So I go on to the next article. What was it about? Not John McAfee for sure. No, it was Sugar Weasel, The One and Only Clown Escort. Pictures of a clown in dominatrix attire and an interview of bondage questions. What the fuck! I guess it was an interesting article, but damn, I need to do something with my life.

But its not just on vice, its everywhere. If you're on the Internet to watch porn, you better make sure the videos your watching are missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation, otherwise, you're three clicks away from clowngangbangs.com. Guaranteed. You wouldn't believe how quickly girl on girl turns into fat clown violently rapes newly weds. Every sick fetish out there seems have been made into something worse by the addition of white face paint and a red nose. Giant clown destroys city with dick? Check. BDSM? Bestiality? Furry? Done, done and done. And the weirdest thing is, you couldn't find this shit if you tried. There is no web browser out there that links to these videos. No, they just randomly show up when you least expect it. Its really a worst of both worlds scenario. It isn't reliable enough to satisfy the clown fetish crowd but, it will always be there to blue ball the young teenage boys of the world.